I Love My Doctor
Let me tell you, I have the best Primary Care doctor in the world. Now perhaps she is merely doing her job, but she makes me feel like her most important patient, and yes I do really love her in that way and for her being that way. But it wasn't always like that.
If you had the chance to read "Me and My Cervix" you may recall the doctor I spoke about who clearly wasn't connected to me as much as I was accepting of him. He had been my Primary Care for many years and I always felt that he attended to my health well – he was a good doctor, in that sense. But what was missing and what I didn't recognize was that he wasn't tending to me as a woman and human being but rather as a patient faithfully and on schedule coming to his office year after year. I didn't feel a need to change because I was getting what I needed medically and have been blessed with really good health. So this is how my awakening came – One day I had an appointment with him and was running late due to traffic and arrived later than the window of allotted time. However, I was coming in because I had been ill with the flu, still wasn't feeling that great and wanted to be checked to make sure I was progressing and taking care of myself properly. But he wasn't able to see me. And though I was disappointed because "he knows me", knew I had been sick, and that I was a long-standing patient who didn't miss appointments in all of the years he was my doctor, but fine. However, the slap in the face was when he came into the sitting area where I was waiting to be seen by an alternate physician, and he looked at me, his patient of at least 15 years and never acknowledged my presence. I was like, "are you f-in kidding me I mean are you really f-in kidding me"?
In that moment I knew that he would never again be my doctor in this life, or the life to come. I was shook or rather enraged into an awakened state because I knew that this was totally unacceptable to my humanity and I could never trust him to touch any part of my body, know my details or be the care-taker of my physical well-being ever again. But ultimately his cold and disrespectful behavior towards me on that day was the biggest medical blessing I could have received for my life.
Immediately, I began to research the list of Primary Care doctors at the hospital. I knew I wanted a woman and preferably a woman of color who would "get" me. And babeeeeey, did I hit the jackpot. My doctor is kind and she “sees” me, listens to me, asks questions of me, indulges my questions, and handles my intimate details and information with the utmost respect and care. I am so comfortable with her and I tell her everything. Even when I might feel a bit hesitant because you know how it is, do I want anyone to know that? And how can I say it?, she holds it all with professionalism and human compassion. At one point I remember thinking to myself, good Lord, I am going to the doctor's a lot. But what I realized is that it is not frivolous or haphazard or even as a result of declining health, but because when I tell her something she immediately sends me to the appropriate specialist to make sure that I am good and/or am in the right place to get the medical care I need. How could you not love that!!! And I laugh and talk and share my dreams and intentions and goals with her all while being treated. She's like a big sister even though she is younger than I am. She takes her time with me, makes sure I understand, calls me with sensitive information or tests/referrals, returns calls, and on and on and on.
Yes, she fulfils her medical obligations and mandates which I am grateful for. But I appreciate her spirit of wholly caring for me, the woman and human being with all of my complexities. Yes she is a woman of color and she "gets" me and I am so fortunate to have her as my health care provider.
A couple of reasons why I think this is so important:
• It is a medical fact that women of color have different/poorer health outcomes in many instances as opposed to our caucasian counterparts and it is imperative that we fall into the right hands to address our health care needs, (though our medical provider may not always be a woman of color).
• As women, there are serious and sensitive places in our minds, bodies and spirits that I think only a female physician or medical professional can understand.
• We need to have comfort, trust and respect from and for the person who will take care of our physical wellness.
• We need to know that the hands and hearts of our medical care-takers are intentional in bringing and maintaining wholeness, health and healing to our bodies.
• And we have the right to always, always have the best holistic care the Hippocratic oath mandates and our humanness requires.