Silk, Satin, and Lace

Disclaimer – Disclaimer - Disclaimer

This is a read for the not too sensitive and not too serious grown folks who are willing to step onto the ledge and have a risky conversation.

Please know that it is not my intention to offend or insult any of my woman/sister/comrade/reader friends. And as crazy as this pronouncement may sound, trust me, I am not making light of this reality. I am just simply and emphatically stating my case!

And so, without any further unnecessary ado and buildup
I am just going to go ahead and say it……

“I don't want to wear no paper or no plastic or no disposable underwear”.

There, I said it!!!

I can't even call them panties because when I think of panties, I think of something feminine and soft and sexy. Something that when I walk, brushes ever so lightly across my behind so much so that I don't even know it's doing it, but I know it's happening. Victoria's Secret for the small ones, Cacique for the thicker sisters, …………..b.tempt'd, Vanity Fair, Calvin Klein, Maidenform, True Desire, Jockey, Hanky Panky and/or other brands for the ones who can't afford/don't care about the designer line,…. now that's what I'm talking about. Because I don't care how many flowers or designs they put on them and I don't care how they try to market it, Depends, Poise, and whatever other brands that exist out there, they are not for me. Paper and plastic is for the end of the grocery checkout line and not for the intimate apparel department.

Each and every morning when I am selecting my daily attire, I want to take my panties out of the dresser drawer and not out of a plastic bag that has been shipped discreetly to shield me from embarrassment. And I also don't care how many ways they try to frame the audience - for women of all ages, recent mothers, more mature women, etc., etc., etc. I'm saying no. Matter of fact, when I find myself walking down that aisle where they are housed in the drugstore, I quicken my step and try not to look at what's on the shelf. That's my moment of throwing up the proverbial 'sign of the cross' to ward off unpleasant and undesirable possibilities. Just the thought of it makes me want to stop, drop, and do 3 sets of Kegel exercises on the go.

And for those of us who are unfamiliar with Kegel, they are exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles with the purpose being to prevent and/or control urinary incontinence. And though I may flail at the prospect of this, in all actuality I recognize that this problem is just another possibility of the maturation process. But hold on, because alas, we have the capacity and power and information to snatch that thing up!!! Hell, I'm doing my Kegels at this very moment because you can do them while you are sitting at your desk, watching tv, eating dinner, or chit chatting it up with your crew. And while you are at “it”, feel free to talk with and encourage “it” and yourself in being intentional about your vaginal and pelvic muscle wellness - ..…..Come one baby, tighten up, work with me.

Now I do realize that there are medical conditions that warrant women having to wear this type of undergarment. And I also appreciate that someone thought enough of women to try and pretty and comfort them up for the segment of women that have to use them. Depends, Poise, “Thank you”….. don't want you, but I am willing to acknowledge your thoughtfulness, candor, kindness and sensitivity in creating and developing such a what I will call "necessary evil" product.

So, as I considered how and if I were going to address this topic, I thought to myself, self - You know, life has a way of making you pay attention to life, whether you want to or not. And this is one of those situations. And why we as women are so afraid or reluctant to pay attention and tend to certain details of our womanhood's health and well-being, I don't know. Because truly things are more embarrassing and consequential if we don't. Simply stated, just like any other muscle, invisible to the naked eye or on clear display for all to see, we have got to exercise, care for and take of our Lady Girl Thing. And we have the undeniable right to choose to ignore or become vigilant.

As for me, I love my silk and my satin and my lace. I want to feel pretty and light and the fullness of my femininity all under my clothes. And while we're working on our Kegels, to re-strengthen and tighten our foundation, feel free to put on a panty-liner if we must. But don't let the lack of taking care of the business of our business rob or force us to give up the sheer enjoyment of being able to switch, walk, strut, saunter, sashay, or however we do our thing, to the feel of something sweet and comfortable caressing every aspect of our ass.

***Now I'm no expert and found this following information on www.mayoclinic.org.

How to do Kegel Exercises - To get started:

• Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you've got the right muscles. Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles you can do the exercises in any position, although you might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.

• Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

• Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.

• Repeat three times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

Closing Thought

Dear God,
Bless me to live out my days in silk and satin and lace (and spandex on an as needed basis).

Amen!